God WILL give us more than we can handle

A few weeks ago during our Relief Society meeting, someone made the comment, "God will never give us more than we can handle".  I have heard this phrase repeated countless times throughout my life, but for whatever reason, in that moment it made me... not mad, but irritated.  It didn't ring true to me and I went home feeling a bit deflated, rather than my usual spiritual uplift that I have come to count on each Sunday.

Coincidentally my mom had sent me a link to a blog post a week or two before, that I finally got around to opening, and it was exactly what I needed.  God-will-give-you-more...

If God never gave us more than we could handle, than we wouldn't need him.  It's not until we are over loaded and unable to continue on our own, that we need to turn to our Savior and let him lighten our load.

Where to Begin...

Where to begin...  well, I guess the catalyst for writing this is that I feel like I have let some people down who are very important to me.  By "let down" I mean that I have not been there for them when they needed someone to talk to or listen to them, and I am sorry for my (emotional) absence of late (a few years, more like), when they needed a kindred spirit to lift them up.

As a busy mom and preschool teacher I am exactly that, busy, which is why I don't get around to checking my email very often or updating our blog, or even reading other people's blogs.  I have not meant to be distant or seem uncaring, but perhaps it has appeared that way. I love my family, and extended family and am grateful for our relationships.

As many of us often do, I have kept many of my struggles and trials private.  I feel like I have been in "survival mode" for so many years and sometimes I still feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. But I am tired of doggy paddling in the deep end and can't tread these waters rough waters forever, so I'm ready to reach out for a life line ...

In the Fall of 2008, Gabe told me he was leaving the church. For the past five years I have been struggling as a "single" LDS parent, trying to raise my kids in the gospel without his support. Our marriage has struggled because of our differences and many times we've both wanted to throw in the towel. Through the midst of this I have also struggled with severe P.P.D. after the birth of most of my children, and I am to this day still on medication.

I haven't opened up to many people about Gabe's decision to leave the church for many reasons. He is a good person and loving father and I was worried that people would judge him and our family based on their assumptions and misconceptions. But I also felt that I had failed somehow.

To say the least, my life has been an emotional roller coaster. Depression runs on both sides of our family and neither of us or our children have been exempt. But that can be a post for another day. I feel like I have barely scratched the surface, but it's a start.