Anna's Blog Journal

March 16, 2014

Faith without works is dead. I have heard this scripture through out my life and thought I had a good understanding of it. But today at church I had my eyes opened. The lesson in RS was about the sacrament and the teacher compared the impressions/promptings/personal revelation we can receive during the sacrament to faith and works. We need to implement the things we have been prompted to do. Having faith that the personal revelation we have received will bless our lives and families is just the first step, acting upon those things is what really matters.

During the Sacrament I usually have a private conversation with my Heavenly Father and will receive ideas and impressions of what I can do during the week to be a good example to my kids and ways I can teach them the gospel.  I leave church with a feeling of peace and conviction to be a "better mom".  But when I walk through the front door and am surrounded by "life", I quickly forget all that I had been inspired to do.  I come home to a house cluttered with laundry, dirty floors, my older 3 kids lazing about in their pajamas and my husband playing on the computer. I fight the urge to get back in the car and drive away, away from this life, a life I'm not suppose to be living...

...but I am.

Subconsciously I have been fighting against reality. I have been mourning the life I thought I was going to have, and haven't been able to move forward.  But I want to, and I am working on it...

I love my family and am grateful for a husband who works hard to provide for his family. Even though we don't always "like" each other, we love each other and our children. I am grateful for this life I have and need to be better at focusing on the positive aspects of things.