This is the kid's last week of school and then it's official, I am going to lose my mind! That's how I felt last Friday during Tucker's kindergarten graduation when the sudden reality of having all 5 kids at home 24/7 hit me. I have contemplated hiring a Mother's Helper again part time, but I think if I can get organized and have a morning schedule set up for the kids, then I can maintain my sanity (or what's left of it). Last Wednesday I had one of "those" moments at the end of the day where I questioned, "Is this really my life?"
The day began when I accidentally slept in to 8:30am, the kids are suppose to leave for school at 8:25am. I quickly threw food into their lunch bags and drove them to school rather than having them ride their bikes. When I got back from dropping them off, Tucker did his morning jobs, then went out to ride bikes with "Little Hayden" (his friend who lives down the street). Twenty minutes later there was pounding on my front door and I could hear Tucker crying in the back ground. I opened the door and saw a man carrying Tucker in his arms. Apparently he fell off his bike in front of his house and had hit the back of his head. (Disclaimer: my boys did have bike helmets up to 4 days before this incident, but we sold Tucker's at a yard sale because it was ill fitting with the intention of buying him a new one. But of course that has not happened yet). After applying an ice pack and letting him watch tv, he was back to normal.
A few hours and 3 loads of laundry later, I dropped Tucker and 3 bikes off at the school, then stopped by the house of a ward member who lives on the street behind us, to pick up a swimming pool she no longer wanted. Mason was in the van sitting in a booster rather than his car seat, but I thought I didn't need to worry about him getting out because I was standing a few yards away and could notice if he escaped. BIG mistake! He did slip out, and he was so sneaky about it too. I didn't hear him open or close the door, but I did hear my neighbors van make a beeping sound like the door locks were activated. I went to check on Mason to make sure he hadn't gotten out of our van and into hers. I couldn't see him in either of them. So I started calling his name and began searching her front and back yard but found no sign of him. We checked inside her house then checked both vans again, it seemed like he had just vanished into thin air. I called across the street to a man who was cleaning out his garage and asked if he had seen a little boy get out of my van. He said he had seen him, but hadn't noticed which direction he went.
I started to get a little panicky, but at the same time was trying to reassure myself because I didn't think he could have gone too far. I began running through all the neighbors backyards (not many people have fences dividing their yards) while calling out for Mason. My heart was beating faster, not from running, but from the thought that I may have really "lost" him this time or someone may have lured him into their house. The whole time I was praying "please let me find him" over and over in my head. I stopped running and started to carefully survey all the backyards hoping to catch a glimpse of his bright red sweatshirt. My head turned to the sound of a little door shutting closed, and I noticed a little play house in one of the neighbors backyards. I didn't see any movement coming from it, but I began walking over and called out, "Mason are you in there?" There was no answer, but I kept walking closer. I again called out, "Mason are you in there?" As I drew near I saw a little figure crouching down inside and heard a little voice answer, "no". A flood of emotions washed over my body, relief, joy, frustration and exhaustion. I carried my screaming 2 year old back to the van and left my neighbor with the realization that her 3 boys were a piece of cake compared to my single toddler (I can only assume).
The rest of my day was a whirlwind. The older kids got out of school early and Hayden had a friend come over to play for a few hours. Many of the neighbor boys were also over playing in our backyard, so I was continuously going in and out of the house to smooth over arguments, fix bikes, hand out snacks and talk to neighbors who had come over to see where their boys were. During this time I was trying to cook rice on the stove top for dinner, but I was never in the house when it began to boil, so it would boil over. I would turn the temperature down, but would again get preoccupied, so it would stop cooking. It took me 2 hours to cook my rice!!! I informed Gabe later that evening, that we would be buying a rice cooker on our next trip to Costco.
The rest of the day included the following: Hayden biting Little Hayden because he jumped in the sand box and wrecked the project he had spent over an hour working on; one of the neighbor boys getting hurt on our trampoline while playing a wrestling game; Me going outside every few minutes to make sure I knew Mason's exact location; Gabe getting home late from work because his car didn't pass safety inspections and required a new set of 4 tires (not cheap with a BMW); Arriving late at Brianna's 4th Grade Drama Production; Coming home to a mountain of sandy clothes and shoes by the back door and a trail of sandy debris up the the bathroom; Then remembering I never got a chance to eat dinner.
When Gabe asked me how my day I had gone, the only description I could find fitting was, "It was a marathon of a day".
I know we all have those days when we wonder how our lives got so crazy so fast, and wonder when the day will come when we no longer feel we are on autopilot and can flip our mental switch off of "survival mode". I know that day will come, but I think when it does arrive I might be surprised to find it less satisfying than I had always imagined. Some of my craziest of days have also been my kids favorite days, and they contain our fondest memories.